After recent tragic events around the world and in New York City, I am often asked how do I manage to keep centered and focused on my work with so much drama and uncertainty going on? The simple answer, and often with such events, is not so simple at all, Meditation!
Through meditation, I have come to realize that life is indeed made from a series of tragic and magic moments that happen around me and to me, and most I have no control over whatsoever. What I do have control over, is how I respond to such events and use meditation as a tool or process. Meditation has helped me and my children no matter what has happened, and we have been through some very tough times together, to return to love and to maintain our innocence, that is trust in the mystery, magic and possibilities of life and creation.
With any tragic event that we are aware of and they sadly happen so often these days, we all consciously or unconsciously take a deep in breath, out of shock or disbelief, many forget to take the out breath and continue to breathe. Meditation allows us to breathe freely again and re-center.
It is so easy to get caught in the fears of the moment, especially with the speed and immediacy of news and multi-media. For me, meditating is a way to stay centered in being present in the moment despite whatever is happening around me. This practice helped me enormously when I was diagnosed with a very aggressive form of cancer.
We cannot avoid the suffering that comes out of loss and death, which we cannot easily explain because it makes no sense to us. We can take care of ourselves and be tender to the fears and anxieties, anger and rage, or shear disbelief in how violent people can be to each other. We are living at a time of inexplicable and unpredictable violent unrest and danger that can happen to any of us at any moment as we go innocently about our daily lives.
Once I mention meditation the next question is oh that’s so difficult or so out there or how do you meditate, or how can I do that when I’m far too busy? I answer simply by saying if you can breathe and relax you can meditate.
Meditation is for me the fastest way to become centered and to be and stay present to what really matters in life and to realize in this moment I am safe and free from harm.
Clearly if I were in the middle of a violent or dangerous event my first instinct or advice to you would not be to meditate. But, I can tell you that meditating over time really helps in moments of high stress or danger to respond with what Buddhists call “ the spontaneity of right action!”
Once alone and safely back at home I believe and experience meditation is the best thing to do to return to my center and feel safe in my surrounding. It gets me out of being hijacked and stuck in my biological, animal and instinctual response to freeze, flee or fight and all the behavioral expressions of these that we experience as humans.
There are many ways to meditate and I would encourage you to explore. For me, these days life is a meditation, but for those who would love to develop a practice to begin to learn the principles and fundamentals of meditation below are some simple suggestions.
Being still and focusing on our breath is the place to start. With breath awareness, we return to the most essential thing human beings need and that is breathing. We can last days without water and some of us weeks without food but no one can last long without breathing.
As I focus on my breath, my body slows down as I control my breathing my body responds immediately and lets go and relaxes. This may take time for some but the investment of time and patients with oneself is well repaid through meditation.
Focusing on our breath we focus on our prana or "life force" and what we focus on expands, be it fears, anger, anxiety, happiness and love.
We all know the feeling of being in the zone and mostly we like or rather love the outcome of anything that comes out of this moment of being in the Zone.
All we do with a calm state of mind we seem to achieve better results more easily with better flow and more success with ease.
To understand the value and importance of a daily meditation practice is powerful for us as parents and for our little ones to benefit from and for the quality of life we all want to get in touch with but stressful events minor or major can distract and derail us from time to time.
Meditation is a great way to take a moment to reflect and to collect oneself to get back on track.
I even teach meditation to my kids who love to sit with me and share such precious moments of stillness, peace and energetic togetherness. It creates real energetic bonding, just try it.
Simply by connecting to your breath consciously will make a huge difference in your life in any situation. There are so many different techniques and kinds of meditation and research shows that meditation improves our quality of actions and decision making in many ways. There are also now many researchers proving that meditation has many health benefits and can improve the speed of recovery from illness and surgery by up to twenty percent.
As we begin by simply focusing on our breath and breathing we relax and begin to experience quieting of our minds. Some minds don't give in to being quiet so easily, so this may take time. I recommend at first to see thoughts as clouds simply moving through the sky. Some thoughts like clouds are light, others can be dark and heavy, but for those of us that have flown we know that above the clouds there are blue skies and in daytime the sun is always shining.
Quieting our minds brings a sense of inner peace a place from where we can begin to accept the world as it is and be free from the need to obsess about why things happen as they do if there is no logical answer or way of knowing. As the serenity prayer explains we begin to accept the things we cannot change and develop a courage to change the things we can. Most importantly, we gain insight to know the difference between the things we can and cannot change or control. Meditation is not about being passive! It is about gaining insights and skillful means to be proactive and not reactive, in responding to events and how we can use our resources and energy wisely to make a real difference in our world as we so choose.
I remind myself with a simple inner ritual to get to my heart center, that you can follow at first and then develop your own when you have experienced the benefits of meditation and gained confidence to explore and be playful. There are no rights or wrongs, just what works for you. Each stage I breathe slowly through until I feel at peace to continue with the next.
“I am breathing freely and I let go of tension in my body with a huge sigh.
My mind is now becoming quiet and I let go of my thoughts as they arise.
I accept the world as it is and not the way I believe it should be
I love and accept myself just as I am.
I love and accept others just as they are.
My Heart is open to expand and receive .
I choose now to be here in bliss as I feel my heart opening and expanding.
I breathe into this expansion and allow anything other than love in this moment to fall away” .... With meditation less is more.
Breath awareness, making the mind still, being open to accept the truth and loving and accepting myself and others as I am and they are, really opens my heart and brings great emotional awareness and healing.
As the Buddha said .... “Look within and be still. Free yourself from fears and attachment and then know the sweet joy of the way!”