I love New York. I have loved this city from the moment I first arrived and as my kids were born in the big apple. The first question asked by my mother, family and friends was, “is NYC a place to raise kids?”
And I would and still say “absolutely yes.”
Being a New Yorker means being exposed to so many different cultures and different languages, different points of view, and ways of living in our world. If we look back in time, New York was a major entry point into the U.S. with people arriving from around the world with their hopes and dreams for a better life. Even today we see the many “sides” of New York and their corresponding ethnic flavors, cuisines and businesses, art and architecture.
Central Park became our garden in the spring and summer and winter playground in fall and winter. As an upper east side family, my kids grew up with great museums and art galleries, wonderful restaurants and shopping. It was and still is an amazing city to live.
Over time, with my kids attending school I began to realize just how stressful life in New York could be. It’s also a city of doing, not being. A restless city of comparison and competition. It becomes so easy to get caught in the machine of “wants and desires”. The machine that promises happiness, but not now, sometime in the future. If only my kids get into the right school and then do well at school and then get into the right next school. The extra classes and activities they need to get on and do well. The holidays, the parties and bar/bat Mitzvah, to which they will or will not get invited, which are now about the size and glamour of the event as the origins and true meaning of this rite of passage are lost in the need to compare and compete. It’s all based on doing and having and more doing and having because one day we will all be happy.
With all these pressures to keep up, we must now add technology to the mix. The iPhones and iPads, the social media networks and the addictive tendencies these evoke in us and our kids. We now live in a city that never sleeps, where we definitely know what we desire and want but have lost sight of what we truly need.
I ask myself why is New York like this. It’s known and loved as a fast city. A city full of exuberance and new ideas. A “big” exciting city, a world class city. All of this is true, but we who live here have to learn to adapt to the new pressures and stresses of living and loving at such a fast pace.
We need to realize that to fully enjoy our city, we may at times need to take a step back unhook and breathe.
We may at times need to take a look at how we allow ourselves and our kids to be high jacked by our wants and desires to fit in, be liked and approved of, at the cost of what we truly need, which is love and connection. We need to share our hopes and dreams from a place of “happiness now” not happiness when I’ve achieved this or when I get that. Try to avoid being driven by fears of not getting or losing what I want or what I have.
At this time of year let’s take a look at ourselves and city with new eyes, with a beginner’s mind and open heart. Let’s breathe into all that’s wonderful and expansive about our city, above and beyond the endless sirens, noise of road works and construction.
Let’s feel into the ever-changing yet constant heart of our city. Let’s all feel into and reimagine what is the Soul of our City and what it means to be a New Yorker today, honoring our past, without the need to be nostalgic for the past, for today soon will be the past.
Let’s really get in touch as a city, with what we need, what really has true value and meaning and celebrate this time of year like only New Yorkers can in a big hearted, big spirited way full of hope and optimism for our future and with the drive, creativity and determination to make this happen.
Most of all, however we celebrate these holidays culturally, let’s teach our kids that they are wonderful just as they are. It’s important our kids do their very best in school and pass tests and achieve academically, but not at the cost of all that makes us truly human and happy and brings real meaning into our lives.
Let’s remember to celebrate our differences with unity, coming together as one in the sharing of our minds, hearts and souls and to be still and be present to the love, hopes and dreams we have for ourselves and our love ones.
New York is still a city where all of our dreams can come true. Take time out over the holidays, for some peace and quiet to reflect and make friends with the ones who dreams. Learn to live, laugh and love and get in touch with what you and your family truly needs to engage with the energy of our city in new ways for a wonderful, healthy and very happy 2018.